Every year, thousands of children experience the divorce of their parents. Many of these children deal with the fear of divorce and its aftermath. It is sad, but not surprising—when parents break up, every child feels the effects differently, and sometimes it can be scary.
The good news is that your child can come out of this stressful period with better coping skills that will help them thrive later in life. Here are some tips to help you give your child the support they need.
Be Honest with Them and Encourage Them to Talk to You
It is important to be honest and direct with your kids if you are planning to get a divorce. Set a date to tell them and stick to it. It will be hard, but one of the reasons that many children have a fear of divorce is the uncertainty. By being honest with your children from the start, you can take away some of the uncertainty they are feeling about the future.
After you break the news, ask them to share their feelings with you. They may refuse at first but keeping communication open is critical. Let them know that you take their feelings seriously.
Show Them It Doesn’t Have to Be Scary and Sad
Once you have given them space to vent their feelings, show your kids that the changes to your family do not mean they will never be happy again. Children often feel that the divorce is their fault or that they will be forced to choose sides—by cooperating with your co-parent, you can instill in your kids the idea that your family can continue to function after divorce.
If your co-parent makes working together difficult, do your best to ensure that you never argue in front of the children. Be the bigger person—no matter how good you think it would feel to resort to vent your frustrations with your co-parent, never do it when your kids are present.
Get Help When You Need It
During and after divorce, you are going to need all the help you can get. Use your support system as much as you need—ask for practical and emotional support from family, friends, and your community. It can be especially helpful to talk to other parents who have gone through what you are experiencing.
In some cases, you may want to turn to a professional for help. You and your child may benefit from speaking to a counselor or therapist to help you process the emotions associated with divorce.
Don’t Let the Fear of Divorce Stop You from Living
Parents often feel pressure to stay together for the children, but some problems are too much to live with. If you are thinking of divorce, make sure that you get all the information you need.
Get in touch with me if you want to discuss your options.
About the Author: Helena Y. Farber is a Divorce attorney in Aventura, Florida, whose practice is concentrated in the areas of divorce and family law. She can be reached at (305) 520-9205 or via email at hyf@farberlawpa.com.
Disclaimer: The attorney makes this Blog available for educational purposes only as well as to give you general information and a general understanding of the law, not to provide specific legal advice. By using this blog site, you understand that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the Blog. The Blog should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed professional attorney in your state.