Surviving the holidays during divorce can feel like an impossible feat if you and your spouse are in a contentious battle. Take these five steps to enjoy this special time of year.
What is it about the holiday season that brings some people together and drives others apart? Ask any parent who has had to endure the holidays during their divorce proceedings, and they will probably tell you that it comes down to making good memories.
Depending on how well you and your co-parent can work together, survival may be the best outcome you can expect—but don’t let that discourage you. Even though life feels difficult now, it will get easier. Following these five steps will help you create a good atmosphere for your kids and set the tone for future holiday seasons.
Surviving the Holidays During Divorce in 5 Simple Co-Parenting Steps
1. Plan Your Co-Parenting Schedule
2. Make Travel Arrangements
3. Avoid High-Tension Situations
4. Create New Traditions
5. Follow Through and Be Flexible
1. Plan Your Co-Parenting Schedule
During your divorce proceedings, you and your spouse (or the courts) will decide how you will split time with your kids during the holidays in your parenting plan. You have a few options when it comes to sharing time:
- You and your co-parent may agree that no special holiday visitation schedule is needed.
- You and your co-parent may split time without a schedule set in stone.
- You and your co-parent may devise a schedule with specific start and end times.
If both you and your co-parent want to spend time with your children during special holidays, it is wise to work together to come up with a plan that works for everyone. Doing so sets expectations and reduces the chances of a conflict.
2. Make Travel Arrangements
Whether you and your co-parent live in the same city or in different states, it can be helpful to make arrangements for your children to travel to each home during the holidays. You should try to make plans for pick-up and drop-off well in advance to avoid scheduling mishaps.
3. Avoid High-Tension Situations
Sometimes surviving the holidays during divorce is about removing yourself from tense situations. If you know that interacting with your co-parent during this stressful time is likely to end in conflict, you should ask a family member to help with pick-up and drop-off. The holidays are supposed to be fun for your kids, so avoiding high-tension situations is critical if you want them to have good memories.
4. Create New Traditions
Surviving the holidays during divorce means making the most of an unfortunate situation. For many co-parents, the simplest way to help their children make good memories is to create new traditions. Choose something fun to do with your kids this year—it can be as simple as watching your favorite holiday movie together.
5. Follow Through and Be Flexible
The only thing you can control during holiday time-sharing is yourself. If you and your co-parent devise a plan for custody during the holidays, be sure to meet your obligations, but don’t depend on your co-parent. Being flexible allows you to enjoy your time with your kids, even if things don’t go according to plan.
Need help with your parenting plan this holiday season? Get in touch with me so we can discuss your needs.
About the Author: Helena Y. Farber is a Divorce attorney in Aventura, Florida, whose practice is concentrated in the areas of divorce and family law. She can be reached at (305) 520-9205 or via email at hyf@farberlawpa.com.
Disclaimer: The attorney makes this Blog available for educational purposes only as well as to give you general information and a general understanding of the law, not to provide specific legal advice. By using this blog site, you understand that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the Blog. The Blog should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed professional attorney in your state.