Going through a divorce is difficult on any couple, but in many ways, it can be even harder on the children. Depending on the age of the kids, it can cause them to have serious anxiety, feel like they have lost stability, and even experience a change in their developmental psychology. When divorce can no longer be avoided, it is important for the parents to take proactive steps to make the process as easy on the children as possible.
The following five tips have been shown to help children prepare for their parent’s divorce, and adjust more easily after it has taken place.
1) Attend Therapy During & After the Divorce
You may be struggling with the divorce yourself and may have trouble processing what’s going with anything outside of your own emotions. While you should certainly provide a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on for your kids, having a professional third party helping them as well can help in the long run. Having your children attend therapy during and after the divorce is a great way to help them process their feelings about the situation.
Many therapists specialize in helping children work through their parent’s divorce. Having a dedicated therapist for your children can be very beneficial for their emotional development. Even if your kids seem to be handling things well, it is a good idea to take this proactive step to avoid issues down the road.
2) Have a United Front
While there may be a lot of conflict between you and your ex, it is important to set that aside for the sake of the kids. To the extent possible, have a united front on things like rules for the kids, following the parenting plan, and more. This will not only help the kids to adjust more easily, but will also help to avoid the common issue of kids trying to “play” their parents against each other.
3) Don’t Fight in Front of the Kids
Never fight or argue in front of the kids. This doesn’t just mean when they are in the room, but also anywhere that they could hear. Even if it is just a phone call, do everything possible to be civil to each other at all times, but especially with kids around. This will reduce the stress and anxiety that they are feeling, and will also model positive conflict resolution skills that can help them throughout their life.
4) Minimize Changes
A divorce is going to cause some big life-changes, changes to you and your family—that much is unavoidable. Some things, however, don’t have to change. If you can keep the kids in the same school, allow them to remain in clubs or sports that they enjoy, and continue with certain family traditions that they love, it can help make the transition easier.
5) Speedy Resolution of the Divorce
To the extent possible, try to ensure your divorce can be completed as quickly as possible. You will want to tell your divorce lawyer that this is one of the goals you’ve set for yourself from the beginning, and they, in turn, can help keep your case on track. A long, drawn-out divorce can result in a longer period of stress and instability for the children. That’s not to say you should rush the process, it’s to say that you should go into the divorce willing to compromise if it is in the best interest of the children.
Contact Us
The best way to not only ensure your divorce moves along quickly, and that you get the best possible results, is to have an experienced Florida family lawyer at your side. Contact Farber Law to set up a consultation and learn how we can help.
About the Author: Helena Y. Farber is an attorney in Aventura, Florida, whose practice is concentrated in the areas divorce and family law. She can be reached at (305) 520-9205 or via email at hyf@farberlawpa.com.
Disclaimer: The attorney makes this Blog available for educational purposes only as well as to give you general information and a general understanding of the law, not to provide specific legal advice. By using this blog site you understand that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the Blog. The Blog should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed professional attorney in your state.