When a marriage becomes more difficult to hold together than it is to let it fall apart, the next question that many couples ask is whether divorce mediation is possible. In many instances, mediation is a kinder, less fraught process than going through the courts.
Unfortunately, it does not work for everyone. In some cases, spouses cannot agree on even simple things. But how do you know if mediation is possible for your divorce or if it will be easier to avoid the process altogether?
To help you get an idea of who is a good candidate for mediation, I have put together a quick list of signs that it is not your best option. Here are four tell-tale signs that it won’t work for you.
You Can’t Even Stand to Be in the Same Room
In theory and practice, divorce mediation is meant to help spouses reach an agreement on the terms of their divorce. It’s about compromising on some things and advocating for yourself on others.
If you and your spouse are unable to even be in the same room with each other (or if you cannot be civil when speaking), mediation is not going to work. At the very least, it is going to make the process almost unbearable.
You Want the Divorce to Move Quickly
Many people assume that once they get through a divorce, they will no longer be in pain, whatever the circumstances. Unless you are seeking an uncontested divorce, the process is never quick and easy. Divorce mediation takes, on average, four to six months to complete, but in some circumstances can last years.
Domestic Violence or Drug Abuse Are Involved
If drug or alcohol abuse was an issue during the marriage, it might be an issue during mediation, especially if the spouse suffering from addiction is still using. The problem that addiction can cause during mediation is that the person might not be able to advocate adequately for themselves.
Similarly, when one spouse has been physically abusive to the other, divorce mediation is not usually recommended.
You Are Unable to Advocate for Yourself
If one spouse has trouble saying no to unreasonable demands or expressing what they want to gain from the divorce, then mediation is not a good fit. In such situations, one spouse often takes advantage and demands more than is fair. The spouse who is unable to stick up for themselves is better off having an attorney advocate for them.
What to Do Instead of Divorce Mediation
Mediation is not a good fit for some divorce cases. It is true that mediation is often a less acrimonious way to resolve the issues surrounding a divorce, but when compromise is not possible, or when one person is likely to be treated unfairly, then litigation is the better option.
Are you unsure whether divorce mediation is right for you? Talk to me today so we can discuss your options.
About the Author: Helena Y. Farber is an attorney in Aventura, Florida, whose practice is concentrated in the areas of divorce and family law. She can be reached at (305) 520-9205 or via email at hyf@farberlawpa.com.
Disclaimer: The attorney makes this Blog available for educational purposes only as well as to give you general information and a general understanding of the law, not to provide specific legal advice. By using this blog site, you understand that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and the Blog. The Blog should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed professional attorney in your state.